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All ye suffering crises of the intellectual or existential in nature (or both) - come forth. Maybe we can figure this shit out together. Or at least have a lot of fun trying.
I mean, for realsies? We do silly things for hours every. single. day. to earn paper to spend on stone caves to lie down in, metal cages to ride around in, and dead cow 'clothes' and 'bags' and 'shoes' - that were painstakingly, and probably at ax/gunpoint, made by other, lesser beings - to impress everyone around us who we hate and feel superior to. Oh, and we also drink elixirs that taste like demon piss, and inhale/snort/inject/insert various other equally horrific things in a pathetic attempt to escape all of that. This is IT? Anyone wondering, by any chance, what the fuck this 'planet' or 'galaxy' or 'universe' even IS in the first place? Is there anything else?*** (Please try not to be afraid: I do NOT suffer from any 'mental illness' that I know of, as outlined by the AMA, or whatever organization decided these things for all of us. Of course, I have been TOLD that I am crazy and I "think too much" - which is my favorite phrase, as it must be yours. I just don't understand anything. The universe is expanding but is also all there is? WHAT?)***** This is one of those 'Is anyone out there?' kind of deals, coming from someone who is stranded not on an island but in a suburb of New Jersey, just trying to figure out where the hell I am. Not my address, but you know, EXISTENTIALLY. So if you have an idea, or even an inkling of one, please reply to this posting. Also, if you have any input to this related riddle: What the fuck is going on? What sort of portal is my mother's birth canal that it led me to THIS PLACE? If, on the other hand, you plan on sending me a photograph of your chest/abdominal area/genitalia, or really, of anything BUT a sleeping panda (which you took yourself) - please don't. If you would like to send a photograph of the front of your head in addition to an improvised yet witty response, go ahead. I happen to have a panel of judges at my disposal, and they shall hot older ladies wants horny sex girls wonting sex determine the level of wittiness of any and all responses (photograph not mandatory). There is a prize of $1, and the chance to appear on Dancing With The Stars (not the fake 'celebrity' kind, but the more awesome nebulous kind).
***This is not a request for a lesson in physics/astronomy/cosmology/extraterrestrial life, although discussion of said subjects is permitted. *****This is definitely NOT an opportunity for you to help me find God/Jesus/The Flying Spaghetti Monster. I went to college. |